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Sunday 5 March 2017

Not another bl**dy Scott Leach report (Title ©Martin Gebbett​) Wetherby parkrun number 87

Not another bl**dy Scott Leach report (©Martin Gebbett​)

Friday
17:00 Realise have left fell trainers at home. Consider 1.5 hour round trip to get them. Naaah, it'll be reet
Saturday
05:00-07:30 Cat doing cat things
07:45 Alarm. Really alarmed. Very alarmed
07:50 Choose Ron Hill tshirt that just says runandrunrunandrunrunandrunrunandrunrunandrunrunandrunrunandrun
08:00 Caffeine!
08:10 Drop off deposit at the porcelain bank
08:25 Let Skoda shuffle DJ select motivating track. All Fall Down by One Republic. Hmmmmm, try again
08:27 After 15th try Skoda DJ selects Glittering Prize by Simple Minds
08:35 Discover Wetherby weir has a "Salmon ladder" Mind boggles with images. Perhaps it's a euphamism?
08:40 Strip then run about a bit to see if laces are ok on inov8 roclite trainers. They're not. Lace, relace, run, repeat
08:55 ED Nykie Dawe​ goes on rant asking for people to volunteer as run director. People examine trainers closely. We are all suitably chastised. Some are slightly turned on. No one volunteers
08:56 Tourists revealed to be from city of culture 2017 Kingston Upon Hull, one is wearing Hull FC shirt. ED declines rendition of "Old Faithful" due to being a Saints supporter. Everyone who isn't a rugby league fan is baffled by exchange
09:00 PARKRUN!
09:00:30 Feel excellent, run fast and smooth
09:01 Feel knackered, have gone out too fast. Start to slow down.
09:02 7 time Wetherby first finisher Stephen Boynton decides to show off his ballet skills at the 3rd corner by doing the splits and a pirouette in front of me but miraculously keeps his feet
09:03 Roclite shoes are hopeless in mud, feel like Michael Jackson doing moonwalk
09:15 Lap runners from Hull and give them a burst of "Mark Sneyd's on fire, your defence is terrified!"
09:22:27 Cross line then struggle to pull barcode out of pocket at back of shorts. Consider how this looks to poor barcode scanner. Make sure hold out barcode to be scanned rather than hand to volunteer
09:25 Take photos
10:00 Go straight up to shower as Sophia complaining about the stink very loudly
10:45 Bacon and egg!
11:00 Settle down in front of computer to write reports and process photos with coffee

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